One Night Alone Page 2

  “Nope, he’s always been like this,” Will said once the waitress walked away.

  “I can imagine that’d be difficult. I know he used to tease you when we were younger.” I thought it was just what brothers did, but as I got older, it dawned on me that Derek had a side he didn’t show me often. It only came out around Will and sometimes, Sam.

  “Well, he never stopped.”

  “I’ll tell him to knock the shit off.”

  “It’s my problem. No need, but thanks.”

  I pinched his chin. “You know I’m always here.” I just couldn’t keep my hands off of him. He was beautiful.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  “Thanks to you, too. I don’t know if I ever said that to you, but you’ve made such a difference for me after Alisha and I split.” The one evening I was feeling down, and Derek was busy with the baby, so I texted Will. Turned out he was what I needed then, and I started to realize he was what I also needed now. If I could just get over my fear and tell him how I truly felt.

  “I liked being there for you.”

  “You’re such a great guy.” He helped me see there was so much more out there in the world for me. My football career and marriage both failed before they got a chance to start, so I tended to get down, but he was always there to lift my spirits.

  “Thanks.”

  “We should probably get going. The waitress keeps giving us looks.” I glanced over at the waitress who didn’t even try to hide her stares.

  Will laughed. “We are talking almost nose to nose. Maybe she thinks we’re talking about her.”

  “Maybe. Need a ride back to the dorms?”

  “I’m actually hitting up the coffee shop next door after this.” He reached down and picked up a messenger bag that sat at his feet.

  “Okay,” I said. I wanted to ask if he needed company, but I had to go home and do some thinking about us. “See you tomorrow night.”

  “My dorm at seven.”

  I reached out and touched his forearm. “I had a really nice time tonight.”

  “Me too.” He grinned, and we locked eyes for a moment. Yeah, I had some thinking to do.

  ***

  I met Will outside his dorm. He wore a navy pea coat and a beanie, his light brown hair sticking out across his forehead. I held back the urge to grab his hand and interlace our fingers. When I got home the night before, I lay in bed and thought about Will and me, and just thinking about him brought a smile to my face, but honestly, I was still nervous, even though he made my heart beat faster and made my cock swell. His brother Derek had been my best friend for so long. I was his daughter’s godfather, so I just didn’t want to mess things up.

  “You know you could’ve come up to my room,” Will said with a smile.

  I let out a laugh. “And people would be wondering why this older guy was wandering around the dorms.”

  “One, you wouldn’t be wandering. You’d be heading to my room, and two, you’re barely an older guy. You’re still plenty young.”

  “But plenty older than you,” I said as a cold wind sent shivers down my spine.

  “Nine years isn’t that much. It’s cold out here. Let’s start walking.” We headed down the main pathway across the quad.

  “You’re only nineteen.”

  He shrugged and looked at me. “So, and in a few months, I’ll be twenty.”

  “I know. I know. We’re both consenting adults, but…”

  “I’m still your best friend’s brother.” He tugged his hat down a bit more over his ears.

  “Yeah.”

  “So I talked to Derek, and after Christmas, we’re going up to the woods for a few days, me, him, Marla and Sadie, and Sam. You’re invited, too. And then on New Year’s Eve, some others will meet us all up there for a small party. And I’m going to tell my brothers. Not about us, but me.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Just mentioning it makes me so nervous. I know they love me and all that, and you said Derek was accepting of you, but what if that’s because you’re like the epitome of what masculine is or what society tells us what it is, and I’m me?”

  I ran a hand through my hair. “And you’re perfect, no more or less masculine than me.”

  Will stopped walking for a minute. “Thanks, and I’m also an individual with my own life separate from my brother’s.”

  “I know.”

  “I want to make sure you see that, see me.” He glanced down at the sidewalk.

  I wrapped my arms around him. “I do,” I said. He placed his head on my shoulder. It felt so good to hold him.

  We finished our walk over to the lecture hall and took our seats. I reached my arm around and stuck it on the back of his chair. After a bit, I moved it to his shoulders. Will smiled and leaned back. Experts in the field of education, a few who had written books about it, and one in particular about the imbalance of quality in public education, sat on the stage and discussed the one teacher’s book. He had spent his lifetime researching it. Will placed his hand over my one that gripped his shoulder. I pulled him a little closer to me, and he smiled and bit his bottom lip. Being with him felt so natural, like we belonged together.

  “Hey, we should do something again,” I said after the symposium ended.

  “Okay,” he said as we walked out into the cold night. The sky was clear and stars twinkled down, and students and educators poured out of the building.

  “I know tomorrow is Christmas Eve,” I said, taking his hand in mine.

  Will looked down at our hands. “I’m going over to my mom’s.”

  “Yeah, sorry, maybe another day.”

  “I was going to say…but that’s not until the evening.”

  “Okay, perfect then.” I squeezed his fingers that were interlaced with mine. Holding him that evening was the tipping point for me.

  “Meet me at the skating rink in the park?”

  “Definitely.” I kissed the top of his hand and walked him back to his dorm.

  When we went ice skating the next day, and I was hard from the moment I saw Will until the moment I said goodnight, I knew it was time for me to say something. Say that I was falling in love with my best friend’s brother. Will Jacobs, the very man I skated hand in hand with. The man I caught as he almost crashed to the ice. The very man who looked into my eyes as I pulled him to his feet, making my breathing hitch. I wasn’t exactly sure when I’d say anything, but I knew I wanted to do it soon. He deserved to be in a real relationship, not some quasi-one with me stringing him along with hope. He deserved to hear how I truly felt.

  Chapter Five: Will

  Parker: So I’ll definitely be there, heading up to the cabin, too.

  Will: Awesome, it wouldn’t be fun without you.

  Parker: I’ve really enjoyed our time together.

  Will: Me too.

  Parker: Can’t wait to see you.

  I’ll be there waiting with a Santa hat on.

  Will: When I show up, you better actually be wearing one.

  Parker: I have to go to the store now and buy one,

  but I promise to wear it.

  Maybe things would work out perfectly. I decided my brothers weren’t going to be the only ones I had a talk with. I planned to tell Parker how I felt. Even if he didn’t want to say what we had, I did, and maybe I could do it sooner than later, all while he wore a Santa hat, and preferably nothing else.

  ******

  The drive up to the cabin started out fine, a bit of snow falling, nothing much. Figured I could make it up there before it really started to come down. The cabin belonged to our great uncle, and he let us borrow it when we wanted, and some brotherly bonding was the perfect occasion to drive up there. Since we had gotten older, we started to drift some, so we hoped it’d bring us closer together--if not, at least for the holidays. The longer I drove, the harder it became to see. Perhaps I should’ve double checked the weather before I left the dorms.

  My phone buzzed as I pulled into the gas station. It was f
rom Parker. He sent a selfie of himself wearing a Santa hat. Dear Lord, he was adorable. I filled up my tank thinking of his picture. The smirk on his face, his wonderful lips, and hot upper body. In the picture, he didn’t have a shirt on. When I got back in my car, I took a selfie and sent it. My heart beat a bit faster, thinking about telling him how I felt, hoping he’d be able to say what we had out loud. That hopefully he felt the same way about me. That he liked me just as much as I liked him. That maybe he loved me. It was hard to wrap my head around at first. But when those flirty texts started coming in, I responded just as flirtatiously, even though he was my brother’s best friend. Neither of us ever said what it actually was, our relationship, but somewhere along the line, a deep connection built, one I never felt with anyone else before. I fell in love with him.

  When I got to the cabin, my car barely made it up the drive. I got out and took in the beautiful scenery. Snow covered trees all around, and the cabin welcomed me with the smoke from the chimney and Christmas lights shining from the tree inside. With my bags in hand, I made my way to the front door. I knocked and waited a few seconds before the door opened.

  “Hey, Will.” Parker stood there with a smile on his face and wearing a thick gray sweater with jeans. I wanted to kiss him on the spot. But I wasn’t too sure if he was ready to kiss me, too, so I pushed my desire for him to the side. “Come in. Come in. Get out of that snow,” he said with a smile.

  “Hi, Parker. No one else is here yet?” I asked, walking into the warm cabin. It felt so cozy and welcoming.

  “No, we’re both pretty early, but with the storm picking up, it might be a while before everyone arrives.”

  “Okay, cool,” I said, adjusting my bag on my shoulder.

  “Take your coat off. Get warm.”

  I stomped my boots on the welcome mat. Parker took my bags for me as I slipped off my coat and hat.

  “Pick whatever room you want.” He pointed to the hall off of the living room.

  “Are there enough rooms for everyone?” I asked, looking in the direction he pointed.

  “Yeah, everyone else is sharing.”

  “Where’d the Santa hat go?”

  The corner of his mouth quirked up. “You liked that?”

  “Yeah, and you’re supposed to be wearing it.”

  “That was a cute selfie you sent me back.” Parker ran a hand through his hair and glanced at me through his long lashes.

  “Thanks.”

  “So, um, yeah, get settled in,” he said. It almost felt a bit awkward between us. I wanted to hug and touch him, but maybe he was concerned that one of my brothers could come walking through the door.

  “Okay, cool.”

  I went and found the small room at the end of the hall that I had always liked to stay in. Couldn’t see much out the window because the snow came down so hard. It seemed like the snow wasn’t letting up anytime soon, so I shucked my clothes and slipped on some flannel pajama pants and a sweatshirt. Being comfortable had always been one of my main beliefs in life. Before I went back out, I sat on the bed for a minute thinking about Parker. When I was in high school, I had the biggest crush on him. I’d see him at family gatherings and such and always anticipated his arrival. Now my crush had become more. If only he could get past the fact that I was Derek’s brother. And damn, that dimpled smile and the way his sweater hugged his chest.

  I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. We shouldn’t have made sense. He was my older brother’s best friend. He had an established career and was living his life, and I was only a sophomore in college. But I wanted a relationship with him. Perhaps a Christmas miracle would come my way--he’d sweep me off my feet, and we’d make sweet love in front of the fireplace under the mistletoe. One could only hope.

  I tucked my lust away and grabbed my phone, waiting for any texts regarding my two brothers’ arrival.

  “Any word?” I asked, walking back out and taking a seat on the couch.

  “Nothing yet, which probably means they’re close.” Parker scooted in closer to me, our knees touching, and stretched his arm across the back of the couch. A fluttering sensation took up residence in my stomach, and my face flushed with heat, anticipating the smallest of touches from him.

  I leaned back, my head resting on his arm. “Why did you get here so early?”

  “Derek asked me to come and open up. He said that Marla was still feeding the baby. He gave me the extra key the other day.”

  “Have you seen Sadie much?” I asked, rolling my head to the side.

  He smiled and brushed a thumb across my forehead. “Yes, she’s an adorable baby.”

  “I’m her uncle, and you’ve probably seen her more.”

  “You have school, gymnastics,” Parker said as the fire crackled in front of us, garland and ornaments hanging from the mantle.

  “Yeah. I think I’ve been spending too much time with the team.”

  “I’m sure Derek and Marla understand.”

  “I guess. Well, Marla, at least. But I can’t wait to cuddle Sadie.”

  “Why do you doubt yourself so much with gymnastics? You did it when you were younger, didn’t you?” Parker asked, running his fingers through my hair. My heart sped up, and I let out a slow breath.

  “Yeah, but I stopped.” I didn’t want to say that I worried too much what people said. Mainly, Derek. I don’t know why I cared so much about his opinion, but I did. Our dad left us before I could even capture some memories of him, so Derek helped out a lot with me when I was little, and sometimes, I think he thought he still had to. And he was the one to offer guidance or criticism when our mom couldn’t. Half of the time it felt like criticism, though, so maybe that’s why I always tried to garner his praise, and me being a gymnast never did.

  “Haven’t heard from Sam, though,” I said, changing the subject.

  “His flight should get in soon. And Derek said that Sam was bringing his girlfriend.”

  “When’d that happen?” I asked, snuggling in closer to him.

  He squeezed his arm around my shoulders. “I guess he met someone at work. I think she’s a nurse at the hospital.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Supposedly this new one is special. Possibly the one.”

  “Good for him.”

  “Hey, you want some hot chocolate?” Parker asked, getting up.

  “Sure. Thanks. That actually sounds amazing right now. Seeing all that snow outside won’t let me get warm.” It was a perfect setting--the warm fire, us on the couch, hot chocolate.

  Parker put his hands on his hips and looked out the window. “It’s almost whiteout conditions.”

  “I hope everyone makes it okay.” Whiteout conditions always made my chest tighten a little. It made me feel claustrophobic, not seeing anything around you, the snow closing in.

  “I don’t know if they’ll make it at all.”

  “Well, that would suck.” I pouted my lips and crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Yeah, it would. You’d be stuck with me for the evening,” he said, grinning.

  “That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” Me and him alone, everything I had dreamed of.

  He smiled. “Let me get you that hot chocolate.”

  I followed him into the kitchen and sat at the island, pulling my legs up onto the stool, hugging my knees. My phone started buzzing in the living room, so I jumped down and ran to get it.

  “It’s a text from Derek,” I said, walking back into the kitchen.

  “Almost here?” Parker asked, mugs in front of him on the counter.

  I sighed. “No. it says, had to turn around and go home. Conditions too dangerous to drive in. So sorry. Hope you’re safe. Try again tomorrow.”

  “Too bad, but better safe than sorry. Especially since they have Sadie,” Parker said.

  My phone buzzed again. “Here we go again. It’s Sam. He says his flight is canceled.”

  “It looks like we went and cursed ourselves.”

  “Looks like we are all al
one.”

  Chapter Six: Parker

  I made myself a mug of hot chocolate, too and brought them both over to where Will sat. He retreated back to the couch. Didn’t blame him. It felt so much nicer in front of the fire. After placing the mugs down on the coffee table, for a moment, I hesitated before I sat. So many mixed emotions swirled inside me. I had always liked Will. He was funny and smart, but my best friend’s kid brother, but he was no longer a kid. A man sat on the couch. The thought of the two of us alone together excited me, made my heart beat faster. I had never been with a man before and couldn’t wait to be with the one who sat before me. Especially since he was the man I was falling in love with, but yet, something in me said, not this man, not your best friend’s brother.

  “Can I tell you something?” Will asked.

  “Of course.”

  He bit his lip and looked up at me. “I had the biggest crush on you.”

  “You did?”

  He nodded, his cheeks flushing bright pink.

  A loud rumbling rang out, and we both jumped to our feet. Maybe the universe’s way of telling me to forget it.

  “What was that?” Will asked, running to the window.

  I opened the front door and got the answer. Snow stood about four feet deep in front of me, smooth from where it pressed up against the door. “Snow sliding off the roof, lots of it.”

  “Oh, dude.”

  “Looks like we’re not using the front door,” I said, shivering from the cold.

  “Let’s check the back.” Will took off for the kitchen.

  I pulled aside the curtains that hung over the back sliding doors. “Looks like a snow drift.” Sun shined through the top half of the glass, the rest blocked by snow.

  “I’m suddenly feeling claustrophobic,” Will said with his eyes wide.

  “There’s gotta be shovels in this cabin somewhere.”

  Will nodded, his nostrils flaring a bit and his lips pressed tightly together.

  “We’ll be okay.”

  “We’re trapped.”

  “Hey,” I said, throwing my arm around his shoulder. “We’ll be fine. No need to be scared.”